So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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