i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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