her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
