How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
why is half of my head shaved?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize