Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
