1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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