get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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