Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
