Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
