We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
