Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just tell him i said nine months
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
