ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
