on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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