Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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