I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize