i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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