where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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