i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize