She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
