My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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