A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
