State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
