I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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