you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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