apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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