Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
