dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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