I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
