Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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