dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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