This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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