are you so shy because you have an std?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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