took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
