put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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