So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
