We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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