Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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