WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Congratulations! We have a period
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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