I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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