Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
