I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Text me some of your sweat
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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