I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
