carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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