Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize