She announced her abortion via fbk
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
