Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
