'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
