It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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