She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
