I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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