well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
