Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
