Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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