OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
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Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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