I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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