What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
